memory share; random (threadjacking welcome)

[notjustmyfamily]

Adam telling Caleb the truth about his scar in the aftermath of him beating the hell out of Damien.

[Memory ends at 18:52 at the end of the conversation between Adam and Caleb. Anybody is able to see.

Warnings: Self-harm, violence, depression, mental health.]

Comments

video; private

[sanguinescry]

( Lydia looks sympathetic and a little apologetic. )

Hey sweetie...you know how people are getting memories from other people lately...?

video; private

[notjustmyfamily]

[There's instant horror on Adam's face because the things that he's seen have been horrifying, so he is both horrified and wroried about why Lydia is reaching out].]

Yeah, I've...had to see a few - what did you see, Lydia?

[sanguinescry]

( She looks down a moment before looking back up, the same silent apology already etched on her face. )

You were telling Caleb about the scar on your stomach. I'm sorry, Adam. I wish I hadn't gotten that one; I'm sure that was supposed to stay private...

[notjustmyfamily]

[Adam's face falls a little bit - namely because he doesn't talk about the scars because they obviously make people think a certian way about him...and it wasn't ever that he wanted to die, just that he needed a release, one that he could control. And now, of course, Lydia is going to wind up thinking less of him. Just like anybody else might have if they'd seen or heard.]

Oh... it was. I mean, I don't talk about it with anyone really, but I told him because I needed to.

[Adam reaches up to rub the back of his neck.]

I wish you hadn't seen it too, sorry you did. It's not great to hear about.

[sanguinescry]

( Lydia shrugs and looks down. It doesn't necessarily change her view of him, but it does make her feel for him. She can't even imagine feeling inclined to hurt herself, but people do it all the time. )

I'm glad you found another way to let the pain out, for whatever that's worth.

[notjustmyfamily]

[Adam looks down, not quite able to meet her eyes.]

I had to - I scared myself after that - and, like I told Caleb, I had to go through therapy and everything to change what I was doing. I bake now...picked it up along the way.

[Adam pulls his hand off of his neck.]

Not so impressive now as the first time we talked, huh?

[He says self-depreciatinly...belatedly wishing that he'd held it back right after it's popped out.]

[sanguinescry]

As far as coping mechanisms goes, yours sounds a lot healthier than mine. Well. Other than the sugar and carbs, anyway.

( Lydia shakes her head. )

I think you're being especially hard on yourself because you're you. We all do it. We're all our own worst critics. I can promise you, most of the time when people are freaking out over what other people around them must be thinking, chances are higher that those people weren't thinking about you at all in that given moment.

TL;DR: I still think you sound pretty impressive. Maybe even more now after conquering those kinds of urges.