In retrospect it did, but by then, I'd already said it. That's half my fucking problem, man, it always has been. I get comfortable with something and then I get immediately sloppy and make bad decisions. Sometimes, like with you, I get lucky. Other times, people end up dead and it's my fault.

[ He thinks that they should probably be having this conversation in person but makes no move to suggest it. This is more comfortable...if there can be any comfort to be had in this sort of conversation, anyway. ]

I think a small part of me figured if you were more than some curious dude asking questions, there wasn't anybody there that gave a shit about me or that I cared about, so the only person that could get hurt was me and if that happened, then it happened.

[ It's probably been a long time coming, anyway, but Derek doesn't say that because it sounds worse than it is and he worries Diego might mention it to Laura who will, almost definitely, take it as a huge red flag that he's depressed or something. He isn't, anymore. Not really. He was, but he isn't. So he keeps that bit to himself. ]