nebulochaotic | memory share; random

I think I just saw another one of your memories, about your mom.

[ Eddie frowns. This is not a pattern he finds particularly appealing, that's for sure. ]

Great. Well, it could be worse. I have a lot of worse memories, believe me.

I believe you... [How could he not, after the other stuff he'd seen?] Your mom's a pretty intense person, I guess, huh?

She was, yeah. She died a while back. But yeah, she was. Now you know why I was such a neurotic mess as a kid.

[ Who is he kidding? He's still a neurotic mess. ]

I'm sorry to hear that.

[And he sounds completely genuine in that sentiment, despite all the ways it's usually just stated as a platitude; whether she was a little out there or not, she's still Eddie's mom, and Scott, for one, can't imagine how losing his Mom would feel.]

I guess she probably just wanted to protect you... but took the whole thing overboard, somewhere along the way.

Thank you.

[ It's complicated for Eddie. He loved Mommy, even though she had issues. So much, one could argue, that he married her. Any idiot who knew them both could look at Marty and see the resemblance. Anyone could hear it, too. ]

She was sick, Scott. If the term existed back then, we didn't know it, but she had Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Have you heard of that?

She needed attention and she got it by convincing me and everyone around me that I was sick and fragile. She used to call me "delicate" and after a while, I believed that shit and she got everyone to perpetuate it. Even the pharmacy found a way to make her happy without hurting me with that placebo aspirator. I still reflexively use that shit sometimes, even, how fucked up is that?

So yeah, she wanted to protect me, but...she was sick, so she ended up doing more damage than good, no matter what her intentions.

Edited 2020-07-28 12:51 (UTC)

No— [He shakes his head.] I don’t think I’ve heard of it.

[He frowns a little as Eddie explains what it means. It’s definitely outside of his depths, he knows animals so much better than people between working with Deaton, the animal clinic here, and the courses he has been taking (both back in Lawrence, and here again as well).]

So you never needed any of it, at all? She just made it up?

[How in the world did she get doctors and pharmacists to go along with that? But, then... it really does put some things about Eddie into perspective. Especially the way he was when he was a kid, awhile back.]

It must have been really hard, realizing that about her, and everything when you were growing up, after the fact.

Back then? Yeah. I have—had, I guess, food sensitivities and allergies that I developed as I got older that now the portal made me immune to, but when I was a kid? I didn't need any of it. She made it up. I don't have asthma and I never did, but I sure thought I did because she was so damn insistent with the doctors that I think they just gave her placebo prescriptions to shut her up and get her out of their offices. I had medicine for goddamned everything back then. I took every vitamin under the sun. I still take a lot of those, actually, by force of habit.

[ Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out again slowly, nodding. ]

Yeah, it was. What was worse was forgetting that about her when I moved away...

[ And then marrying someone exactly like her and perpetuating the cycle. ]

And then figuring it out again later when I went back. Fucking Derry, man...

Well, vitamins aren't so bad, at least? [He shrugs a little.]

Wait-- I don't understand... leaving your hometown made you forget all about that stuff? And, what- everything that happened there? [What...????]

No, they're not so bad. Most children don't need to take ten different vitamins a day, though.

[ Eddie huffs a mirthless laugh and cocks his eyebrows. ]

Yeah. That fucking clown made us all forget everything that happened in Derry as soon as we left. Those guys were my best friends...shit, they were my only friends back then and after I left, I forgot every last one of them until our friend Mike called us to come back to Derry to kill It once and for all. He didn't forget because he never left. Sounds crazy, I know, but it's true.

Okay, fair.

[He shakes his head a little.]

That's so wild... but I've heard some vague details about what's in my future at home that sounds sort of similar. I don't like thinking about it, so I...don't.

[He learned from all those years watching the future unfold on TV week-to-week to just.... stop worrying about what was happening at home. Knowing didn't make him feel any better than wondering.]

[ Well, now Eddie's concerned — and it shows on his face — that they might be from different times and he's never thought to ask; what if they didn't kill It after all, but they just thought they had and it had moved on to terrorize a different town? ]

Wait, what do you mean? How similar?

[It isn't something he particularly wants to broadcast, so he switches to private for the rest of this conversation.]

Lydia didn't explain everything to me, it's sort of hard without contexts, you know? Future timelines are weird-- but also weirdly static? Even if she detailed everything to me, it wouldn't change anything if I was sent home, to live it out.

But, anyway... something happened at home, with these... Ghost Riders? [He shakes his head.] It's after when I'm from, but they-- basically erased my best friend entirely from everybody's memories. Lydia said we fixed it in the end, but... I dunno, it freaks me out. Stiles is like a brother to me. I don't wanna forget him.

[ It feels shitty to be relieved when it doesn't match up with what Eddie's talking about at all. The only thing that matches — which, in Scott's defense, is arguably the most important part — is the friend being forgotten. Admittedly, knowing that the similarities begin and end there relaxes Eddie in a way that he feels incredibly guilty about. At least it means they won't have a killer clown from outer space imported in from one Derry, Maine, though. There's that. ]

It's scary, the idea of forgetting. I know, believe me. I'm not sure if this will make it better or worse, but when you forget...it won't bother you that you forgot, because you won't realize you've forgotten.

Not really. [He shrugs a little.] I mean-- makes sense. It's what happens when people go home and come back... while you're at home, you don't remember the other places you've been, nothing you knew there comes back what you, so you can't change the course of anything, it all plays out the same anyway, and you don't know unless you go back to other world. So... it makes sense, that I wouldn't...notice, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it.

[He doesn't know how to put it into words, honestly. Stiles is family. He's pack, and that particular level of importance doesn't make sense to anyone who isn't a werewolf.]

Well, if she said you guys fix it, then I guess all you can do is trust that and let events run their course. That sucks, though, I'm sorry.

Yeah, and I do. Lydia's like a sister to me, you know? She's-- she'd never lie about that kind of thing. Actually, she's totally more likely to be bluntly honest than lie to you, which is...pretty great, really. [He shrugs a little.]

Maybe this place will take a break on all of us soon and this new thing will be over soon.

Yeah, I know. I have one of those back home, too.

[ Eddie sighs. ]

Here's hoping.

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