nebulochaotic | memory share; random

[Sally is a mix between shock and sympathy - and it's not something that she can manage to actually knock off of her face at the moment; she doesn't understand what's going on or why she just saw that. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth and for once she's, legitimately, at a loss for words.]

Is that what happened to you, Eddie?

[She's barely pulled her hand away from her mouth as she says it, really wishing that she could give him a hug, or something because holy shit....]

[ Eddie looks equal parts concerned for the look on her face and confused by the question. He's apparently missed something. ]

I don't know what you're talking about...? Is what what happened to me?

I saw....you - you impaled some giant ugly ass clown, and you thought you got it, but you didn't, it - right through your middle.

[From someone that has seen a lot of things that one is entirely new, entirely terrifying - and the idea that that might have happened to Eddie, of all people - the guy that she really freaking likes...]

You were impaled and thrown and...is that how it happened, how you died?

Jesus Christ...

[ That gasps out of him, the shock slapping him across the face. She couldn't have guessed that if she'd been paid to try, not with that kind of detail.

He huffs out a breath and tries to shake off the shock with a shake of his head and when he speaks, it sounds breathless, still, his eyes not quite meeting hers. ]

...yeah. That's...yeah.

[ Essentially. He bled out down in that tunnel all alone, but he tries not to think of that and he hopes to God she didn't see the whole thing including that. It took so long...it felt like forever. ]

[Sally's not sure what possessed her - she should have known, should have thought,a bout how awkward this would be before she just popped off and started a video. She knows that itt has to be a sensitive subject, considering she knows what it feels like to die, and how her own reaction would likely be.]

Sorry doesn't really seem like the right thing to say right now, but I'm so sorry that that happened to you - that you went through that.

No, it's—it's fine... I mean, it's not fine, but saying sorry...I mean, that's fine. Just...shit. I'm sorry you had to see that. It was pretty fucking unpleasant to feel but I can only imagine how bad it must've been to watch.

Please don't be sorry - it's legitimately not your fault. You didn't choose it, and you were trying to do what you could, you don't have anything to be sorry for, Eddie.

It sucked to see, but now I know what you went through, for better or worse.

Most likely for worse, let's be honest.

[ He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, frowning. ]

Stupid question but...you okay?

I could have done without knowing it, but I know more about what you've been through now.

[It's not exactly a great thing, but...]

I'm not sure, not totally becaue it's still fresh, but I know I will be.

Yeah, I could've done without anybody who wasn't already there to see it knowing it, but it is what it is, I guess.

[ He nods. At least she's being honest. There's not much he can say to that short of another apology. ]

At least there's that, I guess...

I could use a drink right about now - what about you?

[ Huffing a mirthless laugh, Eddie's eyebrows lift and he nods. ]

Yeah. Meet you at Perfect Spot in like twenty minutes?

Sounds good, first round's on me.

All right, I'll see you there.

What's going on - how can we see this?

[There's concern, toward Eddie, written all over her face - she can tell that what happened was painful, was not a quick death. Prim knows too much to not have her mind go there, and considering the fact that she remembers every moment of her own death up until the things went black she can only imagine...]

I don't understand how I can see that, but I'm so sorry, Eddie - you mustered up real bravery before....

[ There's confusion, but more importantly, concern. This isn't a one-off, whatever it is. ]

...what did you see, Prim?

[There's emotion - tears, bordering, in her voice.]

I think I saw the injury that led to you dying, but I don't understand how...

[ Surprise would have colored his expression more if Sally hadn't beaten Prim to the punch. Instead of being surprised, therefore, Eddie's expression just falls and he closes his eyes. It's bad enough Sally seeing, but Prim is a child and, moreover, Prim is a child who actually has some medical knowledge and she'll know how long he probably suffered before expiring. She'll understand the mechanics of his death beyond just the shock value of seeing him being impaled and tossed aside like a rag doll to tumble down the tunnel.

When he opens his eyes again and he processes the sound of her voice and the look on her face, his expression softens and his voice follows suit. ]

I'm sorry, sweetheart. Nobody should have had to see that. I don't know what's happening or how, either. Are you okay?

No - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you went through that - that you were in...agony and suffering and you didn't deserve that.

[She knows Eddie well enough, in her estimation, to say that; they're part of a cery specific club here - the people who have died, who have passed away and remember it. And he's tried so hard to find a way to just be and live here and then this happens.

It's more instinctual and automatic reaction that Prim shakes her head no rather than yes at Eddie's question, but she's not.]

I should say yes, but not really.

[ A part of him wants to assure her that he wasn't in pain, but Eddie knows they'd both know it was a lie and he's not going to insult her intelligence in a last-ditch effort to make her feel better.

He gives her a weak smile. ]

Yeah, I guess I didn't really expect to believe you if you did, anyway, Prim.

[ He sighs. How the hell does he make this girl feel better? Is it even possible to erase even a fraction of the upset that must've come with having to see something that horrible happen to someone she knows?

He could just ask, of course.]

Anything I can do to help you feel closer to okay than where you are right now?

I'm not very good at not being honest, anyway.

[Katniss can lie sometimes, when she needs to. Prim's always valued honesty, and has generally gone with sharing and saying what she thinks from an honest approach. And this, despite the fact that it's not great, is no different.

Still, the blonde blinks, not sure what her honest answer to the question Eddie asks for a moment.]

Tell me that you have something good - or fun - to do to take your mind off of this, at least for a little while?

Which isn't a bad thing.

[ It's one of the things that endears him to the girl, really. In spite of everything she's been through, she still somehow manages to be so innocent and pure. He wishes he and the other Losers had come out of their situation with that on their side. Then again, he thinks maybe they didn't have that on their side before Pennywise... ]

Yeah, I'm gonna meet up with a friend. Don't worry about me, kiddo. I'm okay. I promise.

[ Taken aback and more than a little uncomfortable, but okay. He'll survive this. He's survived much worse. ]

A little late for that.

[Still, Prim manages a small smile for Eddie.]

But I'm glad you're going to meet up with a friend - I hope that you can get your mind off of all of this

I know, but try not to waste too much more energy on it, okay? I'm all right.

Unfortunately, my friend is experiencing the same thing, so I think I'll be distracted enough trying to make her feel better that I'll forget all about my own shit pretty quick. So, see? I'm fine. You don't have to worry anymore.

[There's something more than a little shaken in the sound of his voice.] Uh, hey- Eddie?

Yeah... Is this—

[ There's a short pause; he realizes a second too late that he doesn't actually recognize the voice without a face attached to it. ]

Who is this?

Right- sorry. This is Scott. [A beat.] McCall?

[Oh, God, this is going to be ten thousand times more awkward if he doesn't remember who he is.]

I know who you are, I just couldn't place the voice. Sorry about that.

[ A long pause as things click into place. ]

You saw it, too, didn't you? Me dying? Or at least what caused it?

No, it's okay. [It's really not like they've talked on the phone a lot, honestly.

His voice is softer, quiet at the turn of conversation.]

Yeah, I did. It was brutal...

Yeah...it was. I'm sorry you had to see it. I think everybody in the Club has seen it, now, which...I imagine all of you could've done without. Especially you and Prim.

[ Eddie sighs. This is what he gets for befriending people outside the Losers Club, isn't it? Do they have to suffer alongside him? If he'd known that was the deal, he wouldn't have bothered getting to know anybody here, shit. ]

I'm okay, now. It's just a memory. That's all it is.

It’s not your fault. Why least of all us?

[Thats kind of a pointed thing to say, and he can’t help but wonder why.]

Death isn’t supposed to be a memory, though...

Because you're less jaded and angry than the rest of us. And because Prim is so young, in addition.

I know, but it is. The important thing is that it's just that and nothing else. Let it just be one of those ephemeral things in life and try not to think about it too much.

It wasn't always like that.

[He had a real bad spell of it not all that long ago; hard to keep upbeat when you keep losing everyone you care about, either literally through deaths that happened far too soon or lies and other things coming between everyone.]

Yeah... I guess that's a good way to look at it. [He can't help the slight smile on his lips at hearing that word-- the PSAT's were so long ago, at this point, but he'd never forgotten ephemeral, either.] Sounds like some of my silver lining attitude might be rubbing off on you.

It's like that now, though, and now is all I know.

[ That does make him frown a little, though; the idea of Scott being as cynical as Eddie's become. ]

I have my moments.

True.

[Don't worry, Eddie. It was a blip in the general timeline of Scott's life, honest.]

We all do, I think.

I knew that your death was bad to have impacted you the way it had, but I just...saw the memory of it, I think, and christ, Eddie...

Shit, I'm sorry. It was fucked up. I wish you guys hadn't had to see it.

You could say that again - it's not your fault, though. I hate whatever is causing this.

No wonder you were so shocked and had so much trouble when you first got here, after going through all of that. And then the added bonus of more people getting to see it.... I'm sorry.

Yeah mine was one of the ones that took a while. I had a lot of time to process what was happening to me while it was happening, so waking up here fucked me up pretty good. It is what it is, Laura. I just feel bad — Prim saw it, too. Poor kid...

I can't imagine what it was like, honestly, even with what I've seen.

God, too many kids - and people whoh genuinely don't deserve to be put through it are seeing these things. It's not that we're somehow better prepared but I guess I just don't think everyone should have to suffer with us, if I'm honest. Or suffer more in her case.

No, I get it. I agree. I really could've done without the people I've come to care about having to suffer through seeing what happened to me or remembering it or however the fuck it works for everyone else. It's bad enough it gives me nightmares, I don't need it giving everyone else nightmares, too.

[The first thing Richie does is puke up his sandwich, because that’s how he responds to clown-related stress now, apparently. He was never a pukey guy before Derry 2.0 happened, but hey, when you’ve had to fight an evil killer clown and lose the love of your life at the same fucking time, you develop some fucked-up reactions.

The second is call Eddie.]

Hey. Hey, check the network. [muttered:] Fucking—not this again.

[ Eddie sounds a little bit confused and a little bit resigned because this is the fourth or fifth message he's gotten in almost the exact same span of maybe five or ten seconds, and it's concerning, especially because the last several have not been good. ]

I can't see anything, Rich...but I just got, like, a hundred fucking messages at the same time. What did you see?

[ He's prioritizing Richie, so he's missing whatever the other messages are saying, which means Eddie is completely in the dark at the moment. ]

It’s gonna sound weird, but bear with me here, okay? A memory of yours just showed up on the network. It’s—

[Richie’s breath catches in his throat.]

It was not fun watching that fight from the other side.

[ He sounds wary at best. ]

Do I even want to know which one...?

The one where It got you.

[His voice is quiet, full of grief.]

You—Fuck, Eddie. It was bad enough from my perspective, but from yours it’s just all kinds of fucked.

Shit...

[ Shit, yeah...now he really doesn't want to listen to the other messages because if they're all the same thing... ]

Yeah, it wasn't awesome. But you know what? I'm here. I might still have the scar from Bowers, but I'm okay in that vein. Nothing, I'm okay. Just remember that. I'm fine, now. Physically, anyway.

memory share; random

video;

video;

Re: video;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

Re: voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

voice; private

private audio;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

voice; right after this memory goes up

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;