text;

[imprudency]

[ The text comes impossibly late at night, just shy of 1 AM. Someone can't sleep, and when Klaus is awake, the world should be awake. Though it's unclear whether he actually meant to hit send or not in his sleep-deprived haze.

Or maybe this is just run-of-the-mill Klaus. Anyone's guess, really. ]

well hoorah hoorah 🥳
is it safe to assume we're all tucked in and happily returned to our regularly scheduled powers programming?
really hate to be the helicopter soccer mom with the speak to the manager hair but really inquiring minds wanna know
i mean i personally enjoyed all the gilligan's island technicolor reruns but maybe that's just me
though all of your delightfully awkward confessions of love and lust were truly riveting
sort of like candid camera but much more awkward and chock full of sexual frustration
what will happen next
who will leave the portal island absolutely mortified by their wayward text messages
who will have a mid-life crisis next?
will that one kid ever get his bootycall?
tune in folks

in other news i'll be asking everyone to recommend your favorite sleep aids
and maybe for your vote for town mayor because i would look excellent in a suit and sash 💁‍♂